Recipe #18 & #19: Black Bean Tortas with Coconut Chipotle Mayo & Broiled Zucchini with Yogurt Sauce

Oh...hot...dayuum...I have been looking forward to this recipe for awhile now. We got the "Thug Kitchen" cookbook for christmas and I've had my eye on this recipe like a fat kid on cake...or like a Joel on the Mcdonalds menu. The new CBO (chicken bacon onion) sandwich ads have been taking their toll. The Thug Kitchen cookbook is kind of amazing...and Ms. Boyardee likes it because the language they use ( mostly profanity) is similar to the language she and I use when in the kitchen.

The opening line for the black bean torta is verbatim "Make this motherf*cker STAT and see what your narrow sandwich world has been missing".  If someone were so ask me my favourite meal, I would probably have to say a sandwich (The fact that Netflix has paired me with Friends and I've been watching Joey Tribiani for the last 3 weeks may have had an influence). This sandwich is.....unreal by any other name.

Black Bean Torta: First we have to start with the sauce: coconut chipotle mayo.....COCONUT CHIPOTLE MAYO.....I can hear your salivary glands excreting as I write this. You add coconut milk, chipotle hot sauce, olive oil, chia seeds (to thicken it), lemon juice, garlic powder and salt. You mix all of the ingredients in a food processor and then put it in the fridge to cool. I was worried about the sauce...I voice my opinions to her about it not being thick enough....she directed me to the Thug Kitchen cookbook which told me to " Put it in the fridge. It will thicken, just f*cking be patient".

The "meat" of the sandwich is a black bean puree with onions, chili powder, cumin, a whole lotta black beans,  veggie broth, and lime juice. We top the sandwich with red onions, tomatoes, avocados and lettuce. The result of the combination of all the ingredients was one of our favourite recipes yet.

Ms. B: 9/10

J: 9.1/10

Broiled Zucchini with Yogurt Sauce: One of the things that I've noticed since becoming a vegetarian is how delicious a simple meal with just veggies can be. Broiled zucchini and a yogurt sauce, the sauce contained low fat yogurt, lemon juice, ground coriander, and ground mustard. You garnish with cilantro and you get a delicious side to any meal. As good as this side was, and it wassss good... it took a backseat to this sandwich (please see above).

Ms. B: 7/10

J: 7/10

Recipe #16 & #17: Portobello Gratins & Creamy Peanut Slaw

Ms. Boyardee and I tried to plan a dinner outing for Valentine's day....and then with all the closed menu's and overbooked restaurants we decided why not just make our own Valentines day dinner so I KNOW the food will be good and I KNOW I won't break the bank with the amount of wine we consume. It also allows us to used two different recipes which makes for an obviously nail-biting blog read....calm down...we'll get through this together.

Lets start with the Portobello Gratins...which I have decided, based on this recipe...will now be my middle name. Portobello mushrooms have really become my main "meat" substitute. Friends of mine can recall BBQs last summer and while they had juice double cheeseburgers I was content with my Portobello Burger (this term used loosely) with goat cheese. Now this recipe is basically shrooms on shrooms on shrooms...and not the kind that gives you hallucinations ....although the wine consumed that night could have had similar impacts.

You bake portobello mushrooms in a little oil for 25 minutes after removing the stems from the caps. Meanwhile you cut up shiitake, cremini, and portobello stems and then cook them down with some chives, parsley, shallots, wine (which was difficult to find), and heavy (whipping) cream. Just an fyi....anything with whipping cream in it...is going to taste amazing....its non-whipped whipped cream I mean...come on. You then remove the portobello caps from the oven, fill the caps with the delicious non-whipped cream/wine mushroom mixture and top it with bread crumbs, parmesan and more parsley. Broil for 2 minutes and make SURE you're seated when you take a bite...it's that good.

Ms. B: 9.9/10

J: 9.91/10

We decided to make a side of slaw and we got this wicked vegan recipe from another vegetarian cookbook "Thug Kitchen: Eat Like You Guve a F*ck". Well sir....I believe I do give some f*cks...and so we have to include recipes from this book from time to time too. This slaw portion is made up of red (looks purple to me) and green cabbage, carrots cut into matchsticks (ugh...again), and green onions. The delicious sauce is made up of peanut butter (extra smooth), rice vinegar, lime juice, fresh ginger, soy sauce and Sriracha. The result was the creamy sauce that started out tasting like peanuts, then got tangy and finished with some spice. We made a double batch and I have had it for breakfast and lunch today so far....and its even better the second day.

Tonight we plan to go out for dinner for valentines day round 2....but I expect I may be disappointed unless portobello gratins are a special.

Ms. B: 7/10

J: 8/10

Recipe #14: Rice Noodles with Broccoli Pesto

Fresh back from the west coast and it is safe to say they have some of the best vegetarian food that I have tried to date. Vegetarian breakfast sausage, vegetarian pulled pork (tofu) sandwiches, it was hard to beat and satiated my cravings for meat that arise from time to all-the-time.

As we returned, Ms. Boyardee wanted me to write this blog as we made this recipe before we left and I was told I get less funny the longer I wait in between making the recipe and writing it...so this one might be pretty bland.

This isn't your average pesto. There is no parmesan and the pesto is made up completely of broccoli, almond, basil, garlic, and lemon juice. All you do is blanch the broccoli, and then cook the rice noodles in the leftover water from the broccoli blanching, something I would never think to do. You then add the pesto, top with more broccoli and some almonds and voila, easy recipe.

Now, like every other time she cooks, Ms. Boyardee put in about 4-5 times the garlic that the recipe calls for. This time however, I think it mayyyy have overpowered the dish a little bit. Most of the bites were great but you would get an occasional raw garlic and it brought water to your eyes. Hindsight, don't add 5 times the garlic if its raw. I usually pack up all the meals we make and take them in for lunch the next couple of days. I decided against bringing this dish or my clients would think I gargled with shawarma sauce every morning. We save it for dinners so both Ms. Boyardee and I can have terrible garlic breath....it goes down well with wine :)

Just a side note...over 2000 views now.......crazy to think that Ms. Boyardee and I have hit refresh that many times.